Comedians! Want to email every college booker in the country?

Stocking Stuffers!

| 0 Comments | 516 Views | Back to top | Posted on 12/06/2013 at 04:52 PM

I’ll extend this through the holidays.  If you want to get any of my albums…now you can for the lowest price ever!  I’m calling this the (I don’t want to lug a shit ton of CDs to LA deal).


Nostalgia Double Feature

| 0 Comments | 1078 Views | Back to top | Posted on 08/26/2013 at 01:53 AM

In the past week I’ve watched both The Perks of Being a Wallflower and The World’s End.  Both are movies that got me thinking a lot about nostalgia.

The-Perks-of-Being-a-Wallflower-posterWallflower takes place during the 1991-1992 school year.  It was two years after I graduated, but the world was very familiar.  I had groups of friends I bounced between back then.  I had my closest friends in John and Bill who never overlapped.  John was my metal head buddy and together we played video games and went to concerts.  We’d drive around late at night and talk about girls.  Bill and I went to the community center and shot pool or we’d go to the movies.  I also had my own personal Wallflowers.

My Wallflowers were like the Wallflowers in the movie.  They were the artsy kids.  The creative types.  The kids who in retrospect I probably should have been a lot closer with and it makes sense that they’re the ones who I am in fact closest with twenty-three years later.   Perks of Being a Wallflower made me miss those nights of hanging out at Brian Rankel’s house having philosophical discussions about life and art while The Smiths, The Cure and Depeche Mode played in the background.

Then I saw The World’s End.

worlds-end-posterSimon Pegg’s Gary King character in  The World’s End also missed those nights of hanging out with his childhood friends.  He rounds them up and reluctantly they join him in trying to complete an epic pub crawl from their youth.  When they try to go back they find that everything has changed.

His friends have all moved on with their lives and have families and responsibilities.  The town itself isn’t the same either.  The small pubs have largely lost their unique character.   If you’ve seen the trailer, you probably noticed how there’s a certain sci-fi Invasion of the Body Snatchers aspect to the movie.  It’s a great metaphor for the people becoming as homogenized as the pubs.  Trying to go back ends up being an epic disaster.

The World’s End completes Edgar Wright’s Cornetto’s Trilogy.  Like Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz before, at some point in the first act, the entire plot of the movie is spelled out in a clever and throw away fashion.  The movie stands on its own, but there are a lot of little inside jokes for die-hard fans of the trilogy.  Right now it’s the one that I think I like the most.  Granted that may be because Wallflower got me feeling a big like Gary King.

I honestly wanted to write this without reference to my own stand up….but my latest album “nowadays” is largely about being present and not dwelling on the past…or worrying about the future.  The first track PROLOGUE literally features time travel to 1988.  The second track ALABAMA is about me holding on to a grudge with the entire state of Alabama.  HOLD THE DOOR is about me missing a simpler, more polite time.  DICK STRAWS is about the perversion of a mall store where I bought heavy metal collectibles as a kid.  FOURTEEN is a spontaneous riff about my parents trying to do their best to not raise a foul-mouthed child, but those plans were squashed with the first outside influence.  CREEPY COUSIN is about a fortunately avoided sticky situation from when I was a kid.  The cover of “nowadays” itself is a visual play on looking back.  I’m in a parking lot full of run down ice cream trucks looking away from them and towards the open sky ahead.  The trucks show that the epitome of carefree youth isn’t really what you remember.

So while Perks of Being a Wallflower made me miss the “good old days” because it was set during that time…since the writer Stephen Chbosky is just a year and a half older than I am….Simon Pegg (also a year and a half older) and Edgar Wright (two years younger) reminded me that Devo was right.

Maybe you should give the past a slip.

Losing Weight

| 0 Comments | 602 Views | Back to top | Posted on 08/24/2013 at 01:53 AM

Sometimes I get discouraged about losing weight.  Since it happens gradually and I see myself in the mirror every single day, I don’t tend to notice the change.  So for shits and giggles…well…and motivation…I look at old pictures of myself.

beforeandafterI’m down over a 100 pounds from my heaviest.   When I lost weight the last time (I’ve bounced back and forth quite a lot over the last few years.  I’ll probably die like Luther Vandross or James Coco if I do that again) I’d reward myself with buying smaller clothes.  I’m now able to fit into the smallest things in my closet again.  I’m pretty happy about that.  A lot of times people will reward their weight loss achievements with some junk food.  I never understood that.

Jackie Kashian and a big, fat me.

Jackie Kashian and a big, fat me.

I hated having to wear all my fat clothes again.  For most of last year I was on stage in t-shirts because none of my button up shirts would fit.  I refused to buy new bigger ones too.  There is a larger comedian who I’ve been mistaken for before.  He and I worked a gig together a long time ago.  The booker specifically had it in the show itinerary that jeans were not permitted on stage.  He ended up wearing sweat pants.  Late last year I was watching another comic on stage and hanging out near his merch table after the show.  Someone in the audience pointed to the sweat pants guy’s headshot and and asked if that was me.  That was my bottom this time around.

This time around is different than the last.  The last time, I joined Weight Watchers.  I found them to be terribly flawed for a few reasons.  Before I get into that though, I will tell you what I liked about Weight Watchers.  I liked being held accountable for my nutrition every week when it came time for the weigh in.  I liked being able to go online and track everything through their website.  I liked the Point system because it got me in the habit of looking at labels.  Here’s what I didn’t like about Weight Watchers.  The center I went to had four or five different scales and they were not calibrated right.  One would show that I gained during the week, while another always showed that I lost.  The Point Plus program is a piece of shit.  Losing weight is hard enough.  Figuring out their system made it even harder.

Here’s what I found to be the biggest flaw with Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers wants you to eat a little less than your current body weight…so as you lose weight you continue to eat less and less.  So you’re rewarding yourself by taking something away.  Logically that doesn’t make sense to me.  Prior to Weight Watchers, I was seeing a nutritionist through my doctor.  She said to eat towards your target weight.  She said on it’s most basic level, you figure out how much you want to weigh and add a zero to the end.  So that’s how many calories you should eat.  I liked that it was simple.  So when I did Weight Watchers I gave myself the Points that I’d be allowed at my target weight.

This time around I didn’t do Weight Watchers because of how much I hate the Point Plus system.  I also decided that since I’m in my 40s it was time to hold myself accountable for my own actions and not need to basically pay someone to weigh me every week.  I found a free program online called Lose It that tracks my food intake and exercise.  It also has an App on my phone so I can update stuff throughout the day and not worry about forgetting to log something.  I bought a good scale and weight myself regularly.  I’m not rewarding myself by buying new smaller clothes.  I rewarded myself by going into the container that had the old smaller clothes and seeing what fit again.

Much less of me and the great Bobcat!

Much less of me and the great Bobcat!

I’ve also taken stock of why I’ve fallen off the wagon in the past.  It always smarts small.  I may be out on the road and see a Wendy’s and decide that one fast food meal won’t kill me.  A week later and I’ve visited Wendy’s five more times.  I may crave a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, so I reward myself with one.  A week later and there are a half a dozen empty Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup packages in my car.  I have an addictive personality.  I just have to accept that.  There are certain things that I love that I just can’t enjoy in moderation.  I love fast food and I love peanut butter cups.  I also really like drinking…but when I do, I make poor choices.   So these are three things I just have to avoid.  I’ve had forty years worth of fast food and junk food and twenty years worth of alcohol.

Losing weight is only part nutrition.  It’s also a lot of exercise.  I love Planet Fitness.  It’s just the basics.  It’s a place to go and do cardio and to left heavy things.  There aren’t pools, saunas, classes, or a juice bar.  It’s simple.  That’s what I like simplicity.   I’m running for the first time.  I started my year off doing a 5K in about 48 minutes.  It was really mostly walking.  Now I can run 5k in about 28 minutes on average.  I never thought I’d be able to run.  Sometimes I’ll run outside with a friend and that’s a whole new thing in itself.  I live near a park with a 17.5 mile long biking/running path.  It’s fun going out there sometimes and seeing new things.  I much prefer running on a treadmill though!  It’s a lot easier.  Yes, it gets boring sometimes, so I’ll kick up the speed or the incline.  Then I’m not bored so much as I’m angry!

Every time I’d lose weight I’d plateau right around 210 pounds.  I always had the hardest time breaking through that.  A friend suggested the Jillian Michaels Shred videos.  It has three different levels of intensity.  I’ve done the second level three times now.  It’s just 20 minutes, but it’s 20 minutes of ass kicking.  I get very angry.  I tend to yell pretty awful things at the television.  I’m sure my neighbors think I’m a monster.  I never thought I’d be a guy who could do a high impact aerobic work out, but I am.  And by drastically changing up what I was doing at the gym with cardio followed by weight lifting, I totally broke through that plateau.

So this is what is working for me.  I hope it helps.  I’m certainly not an expert on nutrition or fitness, but if anyone has any questions, feel free to leave a comment or drop me a line.  It’s hard.  Unfortunately I treat losing weight like I do performing.  When I’m on stage I’m way more aware of the tables who aren’t enjoying it than I am the people having a blast.  With this stuff, when I look in the mirror, I just see how much more there is to lose.  But that’s my issue.  I’ll figure out how to deal with those eventually too I hope!

Thanks for reading.


| 0 Comments | 596 Views | Back to top | Posted on 08/19/2013 at 01:53 AM

Thank you again to everyone who came out to the Comedy Castle this past weekend for my CD release party….and thank you especially to those of you who supported this new album in advance through my Kickstarter!

Bobbitt_CoverNow is the chance for everyone else to get their hands on my third album “nowadays.“.  I’m really proud of this one.  While it’s the dirtiest thing I’ve ever put out there, it’s also the most personal.  The CD opens with a little skit that kind of harkens back to the old comedy specials from the 80s and 90s.   It’s silly.

I’m really proud of the design of the CD as well.  Comedian Jeff Dwoskin nailed the meaning right away.   I’m looking away from a run down ice cream truck lot, which signifies the past not being as great as we remember, to the blue skies and open opportunities ahead.

My friend Chris Capaul from the punk band Capaul was at the album recording.  Afterwards he said something that really meant a lot to me.  He noticed that each joke kind of had a message.  Sometimes the message is buried deep, but it’s there.  And yeah, that’s true.  I’ve always been a firm believer in the fact that it’s a privilege to be able to speak to large groups of people and that privilege should be used for good.  So once you get past the sex toys, shit and other body functions, there is a message there.

nowadays is available on all the digital distribution sites like iTunes, Amazon and cdbaby.  If you would like a physical copy you can paypal me at  $10 for the album for anyone in the U.S.  $12 outside of the U.S.  Every purchase of the album will also get a free BONUS GIFT while supplies last!


My previous album “Full Frontal Nerdity” is also available for the same price.   Order both for $15 in the U.S. or $17 if you’re anti-American.  Anti-American….that’s the correct term, right?  No?

Thank you again everyone!

CD Release Party – August 16 & 17!

| 0 Comments | 586 Views | Back to top | Posted on 08/10/2013 at 01:53 AM

If you didn’t back the Kickstarter, now is your first chance to get a copy of the new album!  My upcoming shows at the Comedy Castle in Royal Oak will also serve as my CD release party.  It’s your chance to pick up the new album…along with bonus gifts (Kickstarter leftovers).  Make your reservations today by either going to the Comedy Castle’s website or by calling 248-542-9900.   This is also the last date I have scheduled in the greater Detroit area.  In other words…it may be your last chance to see me live.


Your Announcement Here!
Get seen by thousands of comedians, fans, and industry. As low as $5 a day!

Your Ad Here